Friday, October 29, 2010

My Lighthouse...

My 37th birthday is but a few sleeps away. As you get older you look at what you've done, what you've become and where you may be going. You look at what drives you and what should. I seem to have a mid life crisis at least once a year already and still sometimes don't know in what direction I'd like to be heading.

I have had some life changes over the last few months and I find myself deep in thought more often than not. I think about all sorts of things, like us all, and some thoughts are of those things I am most thankful for.

Music brings me solace when needed. Music gets me kickin when I need to rock. It takes me to another plain. It can be an escape and it can make things clearer. I am thankful I am one of those that falls right into sound. That can breathe more easily when I am in deep, when I am to the point of drowning, when it is nearly my all.

When you get older those you hold close seem to fall between the cracks in the floorboards as you walk through life and those few that can keep you balanced will stay with you forever. Whether you have known them for decades or only months, I think once you meet someone you can tell when they are a friend for life.

I have also met many amazing people through those sites that reduce the distance between all worlds. As I always find myself, music certainly does make the world go round.

Family can pull you back in line and they can drive you nuts but they never leave. Whether you communicate with them daily or there are walls between, your thoughts always wander back to bloodlines.

My first born child, who followed us home, our cat Fraidie loves to kiss. His affection is neverending. His constant talking and purr can sometimes be my company and sometimes drive me nuts! My Fraidie cat is my friend.

As my age grew greater my patience seemed to become less. If I am to catch a tram and there is a 10 minute wait I find myself walking stop to stop so there is no need to stand still. If there is an ad break on tv I must immediately get up and keep myself busy for those few minutes, if I am to sleep I can always have several thoughts working things out while I lay. I am still impatient, it is my way. They say to stop and smell the roses. My children are a constant source of infinite wonder. At times I find that I have been standing still, eyes wide open and taking in all that they are. Their beauty and amazement at all they see, touch and smell. The ridiculous questions that make so much sense. The misuse of words and the words that never were before. They are blessings and perfect and yes they misbehave. I still sometimes marvel at how they do that too.

When a ship is at sea it has its own navigation, its own crew. A ship can slowly ease its way through the depth of the ocean or be thrown around amongst a surging storm. On a point of land there stands a lighthouse. It is always there. Sometimes when a ship is too close to the rocks it will guide it through a rough part of its journey. Sometimes its not needed by the ship but it feels safe always knowing it is there. Standing strong and supportive of all its crossings in life. My wife is my lighthouse. My wife is the guiding light that gets me through. A beacon of strength, beauty and charm that my ship has had the safety and warmth of through 17 years of rough seas and calm waves, of hails storms and sunny days. She has already given me two glorious presents that shall never be matched, Evie and Jasper. My wife is my lighthouse.

The lighthouse above is at Tacking Point in Port Macquarie. My wife loves this lighthouse. We used to have a photo of it on our wall. We all have our happy place. That lighthouse is one of my hers. One of mine is Dove Lake at Cradle Mountain in Tasmania where Holly and I went on our honeymoon. It was icy cold, the air was thick with moisture. It was wet but not raining. Like it was almost still, falling in slow motion. The lake was crystal and the moss the most vibrant green. My bride's cheeks were rosy and the love was larger than that mountain we were walking upon. My other happy place is picturing myself sitting on the above seat and holding the hand of my Holly. Looking out into our world and living it together. Two happy places colliding.

Holly has given me so much, I am forever so thankful for her. My porridge girl.

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